My enemies list


I have an enemies list.

Okay, fine. It has one actual person on it.

His name is Mike Thorne, and he was my grade seven boyfriend who stole my wallet. It was a leather wallet with a horse burned into the front. I got it on vacation with my parents. It had a whole $5 in it. I asked him if he took it, and he said no. A week later he broke up with me.

Later, his friend revealed that Mike stole the wallet specifically to psychologically destroy me.

It worked, Mike. It worked.

The enemies I want to talk about today are the ones doing you dirty in your business right now. The ones you've been living with so long you forgot they were optional.


Enemy number one: Manual launching.

You build the whole thing from scratch every single time. The emails get written in a panic the night before. The sales page gets finished the week before cart open. You spend the entire launch week refreshing your payment notifications, and then you collapse when it's over, swear you'll never do that again, and then do the whole thing again in six months.


Enemy number two: A VA or OBM who built you something that looks like a funnel but doesn't function like one.

They tried. They set up the sequences and the automations and handed it over with a Loom and said, "It's all in there."

But it's not, in fact, in there... Some of the pieces exist, but soooo much is missing (hello, behaviour tags!). You may have someone who knows tech or who knows systems, but they don't know strategy. They don't know the why behind every little step.

So now you have a backend full of sequences that don't connect, automations that trigger worse than your ex, and a nagging feeling that something is off, but you don't know what.


Enemy number four: Buying another course because maybe this one has the answer.

You've bought the courses. Good ones, probably (most definitely some bad ones). Let's say this course didn't end up in your 'course graveyard' as I like to call it. You've watched the modules, taken the notes, maybe even implemented some of it. And then six months later you're in the same place, wondering why Rachel Rodgers' strategy didn't translate to your business.

It didn't translate because it was built for Rachel Rodgers' business. Her audience, her price point, her traffic volume, her team. You needed someone looking at YOUR stuff and telling you what YOUR business actually needs.

The course couldn't do that. The next one won't either.


WTFunnel?!? beats every single one of those business enemies.

Manual launching becomes a pre-built system that warms your people up before the cart opens, so you're not starting from scratch every six months.

The VA-built funnel that doesn't function gets diagnosed, fixed, and actually connected so the pieces do what they're supposed to do. (And I would LOVE to have some VAs join WTFunnel?!? so they can start to offer legit funnel building to their skills).

And the course you were about to buy? Close the tab. What you need isn't more information. It's someone looking at your specific situation and telling you exactly what to do with what you have (or don't).

That's what WTFunnel?!? gives you every single month. A strategist in your back pocket, on speed dial, for a price that doesn't make you question taking out a second mortgage.

Ten founding member spots at $297/month. Doors open September 15th.

P.S. Mike Thorne, if you're on this list: I want my $5 back. The horse wallet is a loss I've accepted.

If WTFunnel?!? isn't what you need right now, BUT you have clients that would LOVE the support, hit REPLY. I have a killer affiliate offer 😉
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I am also opening up my Done-for-you funnel spots for the Fall. If you just want me to take care of it all while you sit back in your zone of genius, hit reply and let's chat about what you need.

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600 1st Ave, Ste 330 PMB 92768, Seattle, WA 98104-2246
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Jenn Green

Email Funnels for Service Providers Who Give a Damn

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