I had a reverse identity crisis

I didn't wake up one day and not recognize myself.

I had the other kind of identity crisis. The kind where you've known exactly who you are for a long time and you've been quietly negotiating her down to something smaller, safer, and easier to swallow.

I've been doing that for a while.

A few years ago, a well-known name in this industry outed me to 15,000 email subscribers for asking them about their politics before I'd hire them. I lost business friends over it. I lost momentum. I lost the appetite to say things loudly and proudly, so I started 'using my indoor voice' instead.

"Values-aligned clients."

"Community-minded business owners."

"Good people"

Soft and undeniably safe.

It took a sit-down with my coach, Caley, a few weeks ago, for the truth to come out because it has been sitting in my gut for a long time, waiting for a safe space. I told her I'd been censoring myself online and in the online business spaces I was showing up in.

Not lying.

Just rounding the edges off every sharp thing I actually believe, so nobody could ever screenshot me again.

What was weird, though, was that in person? All bets were off.

My kiddo goes to school with kids from the US whose parents love to shout from the rooftops that they voted for the guy whose policies are actively unsafe for people I love. (Don't even get me started about immigrating to a country while actively hating on immigrants in your country of origin...)

When they spew their hatred, I leave NO pause to call them out. And I've taught my son to do the same.

So, why was I hiding in the online space? Because, well, people can be intolerably cruel in the online world. They will say things and behave in ways that they would never in person. And I had been so scarred from my experience and then watching the online business world praise this person, etc. that I just thought it would be safer to say "I work with good people who want to change their little corner of the world".

But here's what I know for sure...

Softening meant that I had to keep having the same conversation over and over again whenever anyone hopped on a discovery call with me.

So, with the full loudness of my voice...

I work with the ladies, theydies, and gaydies. The service providers who give a damn. The ones who are leftist AF and not even a little bit sorry about it. I have known this since the beginning. I just stopped saying it out loud at full volume.

Not anymore.

Every belief that used to live in a whisper is about to live at full volume. The politics. The pronoun explanation. The "no, I mean it, if you voted for him, this isn't your place" energy.

This isn't a rebrand. My values didn't change. I just stopped being scared of them.

There's new homepage copy. New offers. New everything, actually. But that's a different email. (mostly because I am still working my way through my sales pages...design is NOT my forte...)

I feel lighter than I have in a long time, and I wanted you to know why before anything else lands in your inbox.

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